The joy of parenting

21 07 2008

Having recently had a small person come into our lives, my husband Richard and I are constantly amazed at the sheer amount of stuff that is accumulating in our house, all of it baby related. Babies, we’ve discovered, are the ultimate ‘new user category’.

First there’s the fact that you don’t know what the hell you’re doing, meaning you acquire a handful of baby books, all of which give you conflicting information and leave you more confused than you were originally. You spend half your pregnancy avoiding prawns and the other half avoiding Camembert only to find out that both are probably fine. Speaking of pregnancy, you’ll need a pair of those hugely attractive elasticised jeans (cringe), and spend 9 months in thongs because your feet are so fat you look like the elephant man.

Before the baby comes you need to organise the big ticket items – a pram (on which you can blow a couple of grand if you end up purchasing a Silver Cross), cot, change table, nursery furniture and baby monitor. Then there’s the clothes which they grow out of in a week. And you’ll want to stock up on nappies. Linen for the cot. Special toiletries. Then there’s the extra washing. Hanging out 8 zillion tiny little socks triples your laundry time.

You buy lots of useless things ‘just in case’. A wearable baby monitor was a waste of $180 when we discovered it didn’t clip on to disposable nappies properly. We also stocked up on wraps. Now I have 20 of the things which are redundant as we’re using plain old cot sheets which are much bigger (read: harder to wriggle out of). You buy lullaby CD’s then forget where you’ve put them.

Luckily there’s no need to buy any soft toys as well-meaning relatives will give you enough weird-looking bears and animals to upholster a padded cell, which you’ll also need after about day 4 of becoming a parent.

Ah, but it’s all good fun.

The pic, of course, is of my son Tyler.

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